Interview with One of the Most Recognizable Artist Models of All Time

High Class Poodle Framed
Art Print by TET.
Available from RedBubble.

Woody is a professional, nude artist's model who works exclusively in my studio. With finely, chiselled features and a natural talent for not speaking and remaining motionless I thought it was time to ask the tough questions...

Woody and TET.

TET: So how did you get the name 'Woody'?
Woody: In a spontaneous lack of creativity, you gave me that name knowing full well that the opportunities for innuendo would make this interview so much easier to write.
TET: Hmmm...well it seemed like a good idea at the time but now I'm not so sure. How is life as a eunuch?
Woody: Would you get your head out from between my legs and ask some real questions!
TET: Okay...What's it like being an artist's model?
Woody: It's actually quite demanding. I have my limbs twisted every which way and then I have to hold a pose sometimes for hours, even days.
TET: Would you compare it to a kind of performance?
Woody: I guess, in a way. You do have to 'feel' the pose in order to bring life to it.
TET: Have you ever given a wooden performance?
Woody: ...!
TET: Sorry - couldn't resist.
TET: Obviously most of your work is nude work, are you comfortable exposing your body?
Woody: I'm made of wood with ambiguous sexuallity what is there to cover up? Actually, I'd feel a little weird if you started putting clothes on me...next thing we'd be having tea parties with your collection of stuffed toys and GI Joes...
TET: *coughing* um...well I don't think we'd be having tea parties...
TET: What do you do when you're not modelling?
Woody: Mostly I just sit around doing not much of anything.
TET: Deadwood?
Woody: Twit!
TET: Talk about wood turning!

....okay, so obviously this is a one joke idea dragged out into some really corny humour but at least I had fun creating the photos and I got to tell my joke. Normal, high quality blog writing will resume as soon as possible....do not adjust your connection!